This is my letter to the world, That never wrote to me, -- The simple news that Nature told, With tender majesty. Her message is committed To hands I cannot see; For love of her, sweet countrymen, Judge tenderly of me! - emily dickinson -

Thursday, December 14, 2006

no more i love you

it's just plain lunacy. you think you know someone. you think you could trust him. you think he's just pulling you leg. then you realized that he's not joking. he's just plain nasty.

there's this guy from highschool who used to be an "all-rounder" in sports but nothing much in anything else. we never hit it off as best buds in those days but we weren't enemies either. we just played on our own turfs i suppose.

anyway, since i moved to this state, i couldn't help avoiding him since we practically work and live in the same district. and it's not that big a 'city' this place is. i couldn't ignore him even if i tried because i'm just not the type of person who does that. i'm a nice guy, okay? i met him the first time when i had to clear a mess i had with the bank that he happened to be working for. so since that day, i just couldn't say "i don't know" when someone asks "hey, how's so-and-so doing?". i can't recall how but there was that one time when i agreed to buy an insurance policy from his wife. well, i bought one before through another 'friend' but it didn't go through well. so, i thought, what the heck. why not do it again? i needed to start saving seriously since i got myself a wife already.
so, i bought a policy each for myself and me missus and since that time i really had no more excuses to avoid him. and his wife started to get more acquainted. for "business reasons" if you're starting to wonder. my wife and i were mostly delighted by their lovely daughters. the girls were mostly taken in by our overwhelming interest in them i suppose. we adore kids. we're nice folks! we began exchanging visits. well, it was Raya. we even attended their kids' nursery farewell party which surprised the daylights out of his wife (she sat some distance from us and didn't say much which was quite odd since we came all the way to cheer for their kids). i even recommended to one of my nieces to buy a policy from the wife. my niece obliged and they struct a deal. the wife was so pleased that she invited us for lunch. but we took a rain check. i personally thought that it wasn't such a big deal.

so, what was the thing that happened that just ground my beans? when i realized that this 'buddy' of mine started to pick on everything about me and around me. my renting instead of having my own house, my kitchen table, my knowledge in botany and just about everything else. i always try to avoid conflicts so i just let every jest, smirk, criticism and smart remark coming from him to just slide off to the side. but it's hard to keep a straight face when your ego or self-worth or anything personal about you is being constantly bombarded by insults.

the last time he came visiting, he brought along his wife's two younger sisters apart from his own wife and kids. the sisters were staying with them "to keep [the wife] company" since he likes to hang out with his real buddies for badminton and whatever else that menfolks here do away from their wives. then one of the sisters insisted on watching MTV alone in the living hall when everybody else was ready to eat around the dinner table. hello! and this 'girl' was already out of school and working for a telco company. i thought that she was still in school the way she look and presented herself.

and all the time my 'buddy' was remarking smartly on whatever there was that was related to me. what was going on in his brain? we're supposed to be civil. or was he trying to project me as the loser instead?

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

ninety degrees times 2

did you happen to catch that Asha Gil show last weekend? "Six Degrees of Separation". yes, that show where she goes around a big city and meets up with all sorts of hip-funky-happening people. well, in that show last weekend, she was in Kay El. yep! our very own "garden city of lights". oooh! my heart was all shivers with excitement and anxiety when i first came to know that the Travel and Living channel was going to feature KL. what kinds of shiny-happy people do we in store?

first up, Asha introduced us to an indian dude by the name of Reshmanu who was all over her throughout the entire show. he was kinda annoying, actually. he was too much! i mean, i know that Asha is a babe and all, being of mixed blood and everything. but come on, man. stop drooling all over the babe!

the second person was this chinese lady who does Batu Caves on weekends. no, not the 200 plus steps up to that cave. she goes up the path less traveled. "mountain climbing" or so, she said. this lady was also a slight too much on trying too hard to be a bit too funny. there was an awkward scene where she admonished the indian dude for "looking at her crotch". haiya! how come like that? i mean, lady, the dude was with Asha!
then there was another scene where the lady took Asha to this hot spring to cool off/warm down or whatever after her "triumph" scaling up and absailing down a 20-feet slope. the thought of bringing our Asha to that 'hot' spot was okay but someone could've at least cleared the garbage away before the camera started rolling. mannn!

then, there was the scene at the mall where another dude (or was it that Reshmanu guy? can't remember) was doing a promotional bit for something the place was selling. people were called up to do some tongue twisters or something and Asha had the misfortune of being one of them. the corniness of the whole thing was too much for Asha and she opted out (thank God!).
here, Asha met a malay girl (finally, i thought) who later revealed that she lives in a (can we have a bit of a drum roll here...) ranch! a what? yep, a ranch with horses, polo and the entire herd! is this supposed to be about Malaysian life or what? when the show came to the part when Asha was introduced to the girl's family, home and horses, i thought that the entire segment should have been slotted into "Life of The Rich and Famous".
when the time came for Asha to part company with the family, they bid her farewell a cappella-style. oh. my. God!

the so called "traditional malay wedding" segment that came later was anything but traditional. there was the bride who was of mixed parentage--malay-white new zealander and was obviously of a well-to-do family. there were dainty flower girls (i thought they belong in churches), hired kompang troupe, and caterered (is that correct, grammatically) food. and there was a segment where the bride's sister dedicated a poem to the couple that made my almost-digested lunch suddenly rise to my throat. oh, puh leez! think Asha would fall for that?

i think i'd skip the other parts of the show before i make you puke all over yourselves too. six degrees? more like a hundred eighty if you ask me!

Thursday, May 11, 2006

noxious ideas

for want of a twig, a forest is lost. or whatever my former good boss used to repeat. but that's the deal with many of my neighbors. they like to burn their rubbish out in the open and conveniently beyond their fenced compounds, hoping to achieve, i believe, the following:
1. to save their energy by not having to haul their garbage to the dumpster, which has been conveniently placed along the route these very people take everyday. the dumpster is also emptied everyday by people from the majlis perbandaran;
2. to assure themselves that they are doing a public service by ridding their surroundings of annoying mosquitoes, banshees and what-not that would otherwise bring diseases to whole community.

however, they fail, rather miserably, to consider the following:
1. that they are breaking the law that forbids open burning (the fine is about rm10,000 i believe);
2. that the horrible fumes they produce from burning those used disposable diapers, plastics and various other things derived from man-made material are either carcinogenic, more toxic and/or more dangerous than the bites from the mosquitoes, banshees and what-not that they are trying to rid themselves off.
3. that they are causing unnecessary pain and suffering to those people living downwind from their bonfires who appreciate the basic need of having clean air to stay alive and healthy.

therefore, i wish for these people to pay for their foolish/evil deeds by the following:
1. to be fined the maximum amount and jailed indefinitely by the authorities;
2. to receive the full-blown side-effects of inhaling carcinogenic and toxic fumes that they produce almost daily;
3. to be thrown into the deepest depths of Hell for causing pain and suffering to those who never ever intended any harm on them in the first place.

i feel a lot better now.

Monday, May 08, 2006

nice beaches

Redang island. white sands. turquoise water. colorful fishes. lovely breeze. bright sunshine.

be there!

Saturday, January 21, 2006

no response

my 5-year old PC (it would be 250 years old if it were a human) is acting up yet again. the service guy, who happened to be a former instructor of my wife while she was studying (small world indeed), had replaced and added some new parts to the computer and upgraded the operating system from ME to XP. he said that it would make the computer work faster and it did. i was quite happy.

but then it went back to it's old habit of rebooting itself without warning just as i was about to be done with downloading some files from the internet that in itself had taken some time considering i was using dial-up. and it would reboot itself as it was rebooting and so on until it completely went blank and no amount of manual rebooting was going to make it budge.

when i told the IT guy at the office, he said that it was probably due to the "inconsistent power supply at home". he said that i needed to get a voltage regulator. i told him that i already have a power surge protector but he said that it wasn't enough. so, i went over to the electronics store where i bought the power surge protector 5 years ago and asked the lady behind the counter for a voltage regulator. she brought out a unit of that thing and it looked exactly like the power surge protector that i have. when i told her that i already have the thing that she was holding and that it was called a power surge protector instead of a power regulator, she said that they were the same thing. oh kay. i thanked her and left.

i'll just reboot the dang thang.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

natal day

cream covered cakes and gift wrapped surprises. next!

oh, you got me...a tie? orange kangaroos on blue polyester... just the thing i needed for my next zoo keeper interview! next!

flowers for the birthday person? would that be aspirin or panadol? you know, so they would last longer. next!

diamonds and pearls? what? how long have you known me?

a trip? where? wouldn't it be 'belated' by the time we return? by air? we're not going on a pilgrimage, are we? oh, okay. by that no-frills cheap seats campy dressed crappy menu yet highly convenient service airline company? cool.

where exactly? that place with the two granny-titties towers? nah ah. too crowded, too expensive.
that place where the erl ends? too crowded, too expensive. and the nasi lemak there costs six ringgits?!! what? they got the santan from golden coconuts?
that place close to the old jailhouse? too crowded, too expensive.
that place next to that third rate tv station? too crowded, too expensive.

ikea? why didn't you say so?!

new year


Monday, December 26, 2005


i'd almost forgotten that it was christmas yesterday morning.

su and i were doing our semi-regular weekend morning walk in the park over at batu buruk. it was around eight and the sky was thick with some nasty looking clouds. i was hoping that it would hold up at least until we'd finished a couple of laps.

there were more people than regular moving about around the park. i always hated it when there were many people around. most of them were simply clueless as to what they were supposed to do when they were supposed to be exercising. about half of the people would be leisurely walking around with their mouths doing most of the exercising. one balding man would talk about how he had clinched that multi-thousand ringgit government contract of his while the rest of his stooges would rub their bulging bellies with that longing look in their faces.

another bunch of men with mounds around their midsection would lounge about the situp benches and announced a couple more great deals they had or had planned for. one would be bragging while the others would assume some lewd positions on the exercising apparatus, humping and huffing about over and under the metal bars and hoops, all vulgar and silly at the same time. and then there were those who never seemed to understand proper dress codes. this one makcik looked like she didn't have time to change out of last night's dinner dress. she'd probably thought that since she arrived in a mercedes, she could jog in anything she desired. but that color combo of hers was a sure hazard to the public's health, if she only knew! she could have easily pawned one of her dangling jewels for a closet-full of descent exercise clothes.

as if the whole spectacle wasn't enough to strain our exercise routine, su and i bumped into a former neighbor couple of ours. well, almost. i didn't notice them at first but su did. we were walking right up to them when su recognized the wife's familiar voice. me, i didn't notice a thing. goes to show how much i appreciated not remembering any of them.

this was the next door couple who gave us that creepy single white female feeling when they copied our house decor right down to the position of each flower pot on the balcony. ironically, they never talked to us about anything other than the weather. when we left and another family moved in, a totally messy family, they copied that family's style and both homes ended up looking like complementary pig pens.

it was such a huge relief when we finally moved away from the odd couple. but yesterday morning, once i realized that i was close enough to them to almost smell them, that creepy feeling came crawling back into my senses. fortunately, we were coming up from behind and they were too engrossed in their jaw-stretching routine to notice anything. in my near panic state, i wondered why they were not at work. then su reminded me that it was a holiday. oh yes. it was christmas. but we're not about to wish them anything. so, we slowed down, did a quick u-turn and made like frighten kids back to our parked car. we passed the color crazy caftan lady on our way back and decided that we've had enough christmas cheer for the day.