This is my letter to the world, That never wrote to me, -- The simple news that Nature told, With tender majesty. Her message is committed To hands I cannot see; For love of her, sweet countrymen, Judge tenderly of me! - emily dickinson -

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

ninety degrees times 2

did you happen to catch that Asha Gil show last weekend? "Six Degrees of Separation". yes, that show where she goes around a big city and meets up with all sorts of hip-funky-happening people. well, in that show last weekend, she was in Kay El. yep! our very own "garden city of lights". oooh! my heart was all shivers with excitement and anxiety when i first came to know that the Travel and Living channel was going to feature KL. what kinds of shiny-happy people do we in store?

first up, Asha introduced us to an indian dude by the name of Reshmanu who was all over her throughout the entire show. he was kinda annoying, actually. he was too much! i mean, i know that Asha is a babe and all, being of mixed blood and everything. but come on, man. stop drooling all over the babe!

the second person was this chinese lady who does Batu Caves on weekends. no, not the 200 plus steps up to that cave. she goes up the path less traveled. "mountain climbing" or so, she said. this lady was also a slight too much on trying too hard to be a bit too funny. there was an awkward scene where she admonished the indian dude for "looking at her crotch". haiya! how come like that? i mean, lady, the dude was with Asha!
then there was another scene where the lady took Asha to this hot spring to cool off/warm down or whatever after her "triumph" scaling up and absailing down a 20-feet slope. the thought of bringing our Asha to that 'hot' spot was okay but someone could've at least cleared the garbage away before the camera started rolling. mannn!

then, there was the scene at the mall where another dude (or was it that Reshmanu guy? can't remember) was doing a promotional bit for something the place was selling. people were called up to do some tongue twisters or something and Asha had the misfortune of being one of them. the corniness of the whole thing was too much for Asha and she opted out (thank God!).
here, Asha met a malay girl (finally, i thought) who later revealed that she lives in a (can we have a bit of a drum roll here...) ranch! a what? yep, a ranch with horses, polo and the entire herd! is this supposed to be about Malaysian life or what? when the show came to the part when Asha was introduced to the girl's family, home and horses, i thought that the entire segment should have been slotted into "Life of The Rich and Famous".
when the time came for Asha to part company with the family, they bid her farewell a cappella-style. oh. my. God!

the so called "traditional malay wedding" segment that came later was anything but traditional. there was the bride who was of mixed parentage--malay-white new zealander and was obviously of a well-to-do family. there were dainty flower girls (i thought they belong in churches), hired kompang troupe, and caterered (is that correct, grammatically) food. and there was a segment where the bride's sister dedicated a poem to the couple that made my almost-digested lunch suddenly rise to my throat. oh, puh leez! think Asha would fall for that?

i think i'd skip the other parts of the show before i make you puke all over yourselves too. six degrees? more like a hundred eighty if you ask me!

Thursday, May 11, 2006

noxious ideas

for want of a twig, a forest is lost. or whatever my former good boss used to repeat. but that's the deal with many of my neighbors. they like to burn their rubbish out in the open and conveniently beyond their fenced compounds, hoping to achieve, i believe, the following:
1. to save their energy by not having to haul their garbage to the dumpster, which has been conveniently placed along the route these very people take everyday. the dumpster is also emptied everyday by people from the majlis perbandaran;
2. to assure themselves that they are doing a public service by ridding their surroundings of annoying mosquitoes, banshees and what-not that would otherwise bring diseases to whole community.

however, they fail, rather miserably, to consider the following:
1. that they are breaking the law that forbids open burning (the fine is about rm10,000 i believe);
2. that the horrible fumes they produce from burning those used disposable diapers, plastics and various other things derived from man-made material are either carcinogenic, more toxic and/or more dangerous than the bites from the mosquitoes, banshees and what-not that they are trying to rid themselves off.
3. that they are causing unnecessary pain and suffering to those people living downwind from their bonfires who appreciate the basic need of having clean air to stay alive and healthy.

therefore, i wish for these people to pay for their foolish/evil deeds by the following:
1. to be fined the maximum amount and jailed indefinitely by the authorities;
2. to receive the full-blown side-effects of inhaling carcinogenic and toxic fumes that they produce almost daily;
3. to be thrown into the deepest depths of Hell for causing pain and suffering to those who never ever intended any harm on them in the first place.

i feel a lot better now.

Monday, May 08, 2006

nice beaches



Redang island. white sands. turquoise water. colorful fishes. lovely breeze. bright sunshine.

be there!