This is my letter to the world, That never wrote to me, -- The simple news that Nature told, With tender majesty. Her message is committed To hands I cannot see; For love of her, sweet countrymen, Judge tenderly of me! - emily dickinson -

Monday, December 26, 2005


i'd almost forgotten that it was christmas yesterday morning.

su and i were doing our semi-regular weekend morning walk in the park over at batu buruk. it was around eight and the sky was thick with some nasty looking clouds. i was hoping that it would hold up at least until we'd finished a couple of laps.

there were more people than regular moving about around the park. i always hated it when there were many people around. most of them were simply clueless as to what they were supposed to do when they were supposed to be exercising. about half of the people would be leisurely walking around with their mouths doing most of the exercising. one balding man would talk about how he had clinched that multi-thousand ringgit government contract of his while the rest of his stooges would rub their bulging bellies with that longing look in their faces.

another bunch of men with mounds around their midsection would lounge about the situp benches and announced a couple more great deals they had or had planned for. one would be bragging while the others would assume some lewd positions on the exercising apparatus, humping and huffing about over and under the metal bars and hoops, all vulgar and silly at the same time. and then there were those who never seemed to understand proper dress codes. this one makcik looked like she didn't have time to change out of last night's dinner dress. she'd probably thought that since she arrived in a mercedes, she could jog in anything she desired. but that color combo of hers was a sure hazard to the public's health, if she only knew! she could have easily pawned one of her dangling jewels for a closet-full of descent exercise clothes.

as if the whole spectacle wasn't enough to strain our exercise routine, su and i bumped into a former neighbor couple of ours. well, almost. i didn't notice them at first but su did. we were walking right up to them when su recognized the wife's familiar voice. me, i didn't notice a thing. goes to show how much i appreciated not remembering any of them.

this was the next door couple who gave us that creepy single white female feeling when they copied our house decor right down to the position of each flower pot on the balcony. ironically, they never talked to us about anything other than the weather. when we left and another family moved in, a totally messy family, they copied that family's style and both homes ended up looking like complementary pig pens.

it was such a huge relief when we finally moved away from the odd couple. but yesterday morning, once i realized that i was close enough to them to almost smell them, that creepy feeling came crawling back into my senses. fortunately, we were coming up from behind and they were too engrossed in their jaw-stretching routine to notice anything. in my near panic state, i wondered why they were not at work. then su reminded me that it was a holiday. oh yes. it was christmas. but we're not about to wish them anything. so, we slowed down, did a quick u-turn and made like frighten kids back to our parked car. we passed the color crazy caftan lady on our way back and decided that we've had enough christmas cheer for the day.

Thursday, December 22, 2005


lee loo walked with a limp when she came the second time. something unfortunate happened to her left front paw. the middle pad was swollen quite a bit. i also found a piece of rubber band around her neck. it fitted snugly around her neck that it was hidden underneath her fur. i only realized it while i was scratching under her neck. i took it off and threw it in the waste bin. thank God it didn't choke her. i almost regretted that I sent her back. i can't imagine what would have happened if qop qoon hadn't brought her home. those kids who did whatever they did wouldn't have known any better. it's just the parents who ought to be spayed (i've said that before, haven't i?)!

i bought several packs of kitty food for lee loo. the biscuits that the others eat were not quite suitable for her. but i'd need to get her some powdered milk and a bottle too. she's too young to lap liquids. i used to have one for qoom qoom when he was little. he was the one my wife found at the dumpster--a black bundle hardly the size of a tennis ball. he didn't know how to eat solids or drink from a bowl. we had to spoon feed him. later, we fed him milk with a bottle. i'd always enjoyed the moments when i held the bottle while he suckled. you can't imagine how cute he looked with his paws holding on to the bottle. we stopped the bottle when he started biting the nipples off after finishing his milk. but by then, he was old enough to eat regular cat food. and then, he started the habit of sucking my fingers whenever he had the chance. even now, he'd dig his nose into my hand and start sucking whenever i cuddle him. i guess we spoiled him silly.

qop qoon was big enough to eat solids when we got him. so, we had less of a problem with him. he especially liked half-cooked egg yolks, even now. he's not as finicky with food as qoom qoom was. so, he grew big and plump in no time. if he could mumble a few words, he could be garfield! a lot many people mistook him for a pregnant cat. i suppose lee loo did too. now, he's become sort of a wet nurse to her. whenever lee loo started making a racket, either when she was hungry or when she was left alone, qop qoon would come running to her side. he would sleep on top of her cage at night. he did try to curl up inside the shoebox that we placed inside the cage for lee loo to sleep in but he was just too big to fit in there (thank God!). and he would give qoom qoom a gentle headbutt whenever mr attitude turned nasty toward the little lost kitty. if only he could produce milk.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005


in one of the papers last sunday, a gaggle of grannies were made up to look like a group of aged cross-dressers. and guess who made them up? a bunch of men, obviously, dressed and decked up to look as androgenous as their ghastly clown suits could manage. what a drag!
anyway, a more news worthy incident happened that day in my house. my cat, qop qoon, brought a kitten home. not once. twice!

you see, qop qoon is a three year old tomcat. tomcats mostly do not give kittens much regard. except as a side dish, perhaps. but my qop qoon seemed to have been swept off his paws by this one kitten. he had to bring it home twice in one day.

it was another lazy sunday for me. my wife had just returned from her workout session and i was just getting ready for the day. at first, i only heard the sound of a distressed kitten. oh, dear! oh, dear! oh, dear! i wasn't going to save another dumped kitty now, was i? then, i heard what sounded like it's mother. ah, false alarm, i thought. but as the desperate cries grew louder and converged into my driveway, i began to worry.

it wasn't a kitty with its mother. it was my qop qoon with a little kitty in tow! where in the world did he get that kitty? and how did he get the kitty to follow him home?

at first glance, they looked just like a mother and her lil kitty. qop qoon, with the folds of his plump belly jiggling from side to side as he walked, looked just like a female cat, a queen, that had just given birth. the little kitty, ginger colored with a stubby tail, was an exact replica of qop qoon. could it be that this lil kitty was one of his own? and all this while i thought he only sleeps and eats and sleeps all day and all night.

the lil kitty scurried under the car when it saw me. then it climbed under the hood when i got closer. oh boy. it took a while and a lot of chasing around the car before i finally grabbed a hold of it. man, what a pesky little furball! you know that a kitten has never been handled by callous hands when its fur feels extra soft and fluffy. it just makes you wanna clench your teeth and squeeze. this little kitty was all extra fluffy and soft. but it was quite filthy. it also smelled like an abandoned house. you know, like the smell of the cloth that you use to line drawers, or some old shirt that ended up untouched at the bottom of the pile in your closet? so, this kitty was in an abandoned house somewhere in the neighborhood before it got flushed out by some disturbance (probably by those much peskier little spoiled br...., never mind) and ended up separated from its mother. and my valiant qop qoon was there to the rescue.

it was a female. boy oh boy. from her non-stop meowing since she arrived, i could tell that she was hungry. there was some leftover catfood in the kitchen so i led the kitten to it. the little bundle practically sucked everything in, famished as it was. poor thing. it quieted down after that, thank God.

qoom qoom, my other tomcat, was all snarls and spits when it came to unwelcome visitors. so i had to put the little kitty in a cage to protect her from qoom qoom's nasty attitude. i've had that cage since i picked my first distressed kitty from the roadside in this here state five years ago. and it'd been used since to house a lot many abandoned kittens dumped at my doorstep, under my car, in the dumpster and in the middle of the street right in front of my house at 6 am for God's sake! i'd bought a couple more cages since but i'd given them all away. thought i'd just keep one just in case. it's always handy to keep at least one around. and this was one of those times when you have to have one.

later that day, my wife and i found out from one of the neighbors that the kitty was, in fact, a resident of an abandoned house that was two houses away from our place. yep. somebody with extra money to spend, bought a house and then decided to leave it to the elements so that a secondary forest may take root and dustbunnies may haunt its cracks and corners. it was a wonder that no one had found a wild boar or a python snoozing in the undergrowth. but, apparently, someone else was thinking of clearing away the weeds and cleaning up the place a bit to make room for hanging out the laundry to dry. well, we are still in the midst of the monsoon season and all.
maybe, during all that clearing and cleaning, the mother cat must have been frighten off and the poor little kitty, left all by herself. so, we planned to reunite them.

i didn't think that we should adopt another abandoned kitty. we'd been through it so many times. and it's especially not nice when folks say that we like to keep cats because we do not have kids of our own. isn't that a thoughtless thing to say? or, because we have cats, we can't have kids. well, duhh. (it's because we care, you a******s!!) so, my wife and i resolved to return the kitty back to the abandoned house. we had one of the neighbors' kids to ID the kitty before we return it to the house. and sure enough, the kid had, in fact, seen the kitty with its mother in the abandoned house before. with much relief, we gave the kitty to the kid and asked him to carry it back to the house. we hoped that the mother cat would return.

she didn't.

so, my qop qoon brought it home, again!

we took her in and named her, lee loo.

Friday, December 02, 2005


so the guy was shown shooting hoops and getting all sweaty in the sun. then, when he got home, he washed his face with the stuff that was being promoted. in the next sequence, he was appraising his face in the mirror -- no blemishes, no blackheads, no visible wrinkle lines, whatever. then in the last sequence, we could see his face immerging from a dark background in three different shades of skin tones, the last being all creamy and pearly white! from dark to light. from being lost to being enlightened. from a nobody to a happening somebody. ooh kay.

so, it's not enought to deceive teenage girls (and grown women) into believing that pearly white skin is THE only thing that should matter in life. now, the same nonsense is being beamed into the psyche of boys and men! so, what's next? padded underwear to get that impressive bulge under those button flies? yes, that silly 'enhancement' device has been around for some time but it better not be shown on tv! it's not the size, you ninny, it's how you use it!

has it really come to this? that men have to resort to artificial means just to conjure an image of success and well being? whatever happened to hard work, wisdom and plain sincerity? whatever happened to being true to your self? can't we just be thankful for what we already have? can't we just accept who we are?